I’m starting to wonder if perhaps my view of relationships might be a bit skewed. I’ve gotten a few different opinions from several friends and I thought I saw a trend for a while about how they view exclusivity but I am now at a complete loss because it seems to be completely random. Personally, I find dating to be stressful enough as it is without trying to decipher how to approach exclusivity much less assumptions made about exclusivity.
One thing I find particularly interesting is that there are quite a few people that I’ve spoken to who believe that if you have been seeing someone for a period of time and have been “staying over” at each other’s places then the assumption would be that you are exclusive. Now, I don’t think that it would be out of the question that most likely, you are being exclusive, but at the same time to assume that the person you are seeing is on the same page as yourself is fairly severe assumption. At least in my opinion it is. I suppose this is partially due to the fact that (hypothetically) if my significant other hadn’t asked to be exclusive or if I hadn’t asked then I would assume that should I meet someone that would like to go on a date, I would have no problem accepting. Granted for the most part when I am at that stage, I don’t tend to be looking out for anyone else and I doubt I would accept an offer from someone else but I also don’t think it is something that can be assumed. Perhaps it is just that I like to be deliberate about knowing where things stand.
I used to think it was all about “the talk” when it came to exclusivity. But after my thing with Not Daniel…I guess I just got to know him well enough to assume he and I weren’t dating other people. He seemed to only have past long term relationships…in other words, you’re right there is no way to assume anything.
Yeah, I think assumptions can be dangerous, I mean what if you aren’t on the same page, then someone definitely ends up getting hurt. Again, I could just be a control freak and like things to be spelled out but I just think it’s safer and at least you both know what’s up.