The Alphabet… sortof

June 16th, 2011 § 0

As seen on DecoyBetty um a long while ago. But clearly I fail at blogging regularly. I do intend to update on my knee once I stop being mad at the fact that it has taken 10 weeks for me to start jogging. Not even running but jogging. Indoors. Back and forth. At physical therapy. I cannot explain how irritating that is.

A. Age: 28.

B. Bed size: Full.

C. Chore you dislike: Cleaning the toilet… oh and trash. but really the toilet. I have even gotten a maid to avoid dealing with it.

D. Dogs: I’m really more of a cat person. But puppies are adorable :)

E. Essential start to your day: Sunlight. I don’t believe a day is truly started unless there is sunlight… and this is why I can’t live on the East Coast.

F. Favorite color: GREEN! (and yes it does require all caps)

G. Gold or silver: Silver, definitely silver. In some instances I do like gold but those are few and far between.

H. Height: Definitively short. I’m 5′-5’1″ depending on who is measuring me. Though my driver’s license used to say 5’2″, apparently in Texas they believe anything you say.

I. Instruments you play(ed): Flute. for real and for a long time over 10 years. Guitar. poorly and self taught. Dabbled with trumpet, clarinet and piano. I was far more musical in my younger years.

J. Job title: Consultant

K. Kids: I like them long enough to give back.

L. Live: Chicago.

M. Mom’s name: Raka, apparently in my family we like R’s.

N. Nicknames: rhe-ra, rhe-rhe, rhae-rhae – it’s hard to have nicknames when your name is only one syllable

O. Overnight hospital stays: I’ve had them but I don’t remember, which is probably a good thing.

P. Pet peeves: Dirty dishes in the sink. For the love of god just do your damn dishes! Oh and rollerbladers who take up the bike path as if they own it – people, you know there are bikers and runners and even walkers that would love to *share* the path with you.

Q. Quote from a movie: “I’m gonna say the thing you’re not supposed to say, I love you but I love me more.” – Samantha, Sex & The City

R. Righty or lefty: Righty.

S. Siblings: The one and only.

T. Time you wake up: errr, 6:30ish. Depends on when I have physical therapy and the other days if I’m motivated enough to go to the gym before work.

U. Underwear: Typical cotton bikinis, but you know silk ones are fun too.

V. Vegetables you don’t like: Lettuce. Totally overrated. People are not rabbits.

W. What makes you run late: Forgetting things. Or that I run on Desi-Standard-Time… at least some variation thereof. ;)

X. X-rays you’ve had: Head, neck, wrist, ankle, knee, chest. I sound like I have a million problems but really some of them were because of the chiropractor and others due to sports, a few were health related precautions.

Y. Yummy food you make: Steak, cheese or chocolate souffle, creme caramel, lamb chops, butternut squash puree with maple syrup, lots of things!

Z. Zoo animal favorites: Anything in the cat family! Though pretty much anything that is either a baby or fuzzy will do.

Kittens!!!

June 9th, 2011 § 0

Screw talking about my ACL (I mean ok, I will get back to it at some point) but more importantly let’s talk about something infinitely more serious…

I’m adopting kittens. They are the cutest little things I have ever seen. It’s a brother and sister pair, Monster (black and white) and Sassy (grey and white). I think I may be in love. (Not to mention Sassy looks just like my old cat, Ascot, that lives with my mom who I miss dearly but would kill me if I brought her to freaking cold Chicago.)

ACL Reconstruction Post-Op: Day 28

April 19th, 2011 § 0

I’m off the brace. Finally! Though I almost cried yesterday when my PT said that even though she also hates my brace but I have to wear it while it’s snowing outside. (Yes, it was totally snowing in Chicago yesterday. Evil, I swear). BUT, now it’s gone!

Seriously, look at this sucker, it’s the most annoying thing on the planet.

However since it has been gone, I have some observations. Clearly it’s only been one day, I’m sure I’ll have more in the weeks to follow. So far the scar is weird and I have sympathy sensations on the left side… like if I scratch the right side of my scar I feel the nerves twitch on the left side. It’s kinda creepy but kinda awesome. I don’t really understand it but it works.

Beyond that I’ve noticed that I’m extraordinarily tired because I’m using my left a lot more today than I have been when I’m restricted in my brace. And my left glute is killing me. Clearly my quad is not engaging enough and I’m compensating for it in odd ways. I’m totally working on that. However it’s not an instantaneous process. Le sigh. But every day it gets a little better. And every day I see how much closer I am to being whole again. I can’t wait until I can start biking and running again!

ACL Reconstruction Post-Op: Day 20

April 11th, 2011 § 0

So I got my stitches out. I am pretty sure no one except for me wants to see this but apparently my blog has now become my “after surgery journal” where I’m documenting everything. Getting the stitches out was *way* less exciting than I thought it would be and everyone whose had it done told me it would feel weird and there’s no better way to describe it. I didn’t believe them… but they’re right. It just feels weird. It doesn’t hurt, it just feels weird – for lack of a better word.

Anyway, before the stitches came out… see the awesome little blue bits. I know so attractive.

And then after.

And now 5 days later when it doesn’t look quite as bad.

What bugs me most about this whole process is that I typically get waxed pretty frequently and I dislike shaving intensely BUT I’m a little nervous about getting my legs waxed at the moment, like I just don’t know if I can do it. And to be perfectly honest, I’m actually a little freaked out about shaving my legs as well because I don’t want to mess with the stupid wound until it’s completely healed. Also I had to buy flats today because I only own one pair and I don’t think I’ll be able to wear heels for a long time. It’s really tragic.

ACL Reconstruction Post-Op: Day 14

April 5th, 2011 § 0

So we finally made it to two weeks out. I’m officially relieved of my crutches – even with public transportation. And I’m out of the brace indoors just not outdoors because you never know what might happen. I’ve been told I need to walk “normally” because I’ve gotten used to limping around, so it’s now become a habit.

What is less exciting… the bruising. What they don’t tell you is that after you start walking around you have these ridiculous bruises all over your leg. Most predominantly around my ankles and lower shins. I swear this looks worse than when I came out of surgery. It’s ridiculous.

And I definitely didn’t have any on this side before:

And it’s true they do warn you that you can’t shower completely until your stitches are out but let me tell you, 2 weeks of not being able to wash your leg is like torture. I have to put my leg in a bag and then duck tape it to my leg so my wound doesn’t get wet and infected. It is so frustrating. The stitches come out tomorrow and I don’t think I’ve ever been so excited to be able to shower in my life.

ACL Reconstruction Post-Op: Day 7

March 30th, 2011 § 0

So yesterday I went to my second PT session and I have been relieved of my crutches. Hell yeah b*!$#es! Ok so I normally don’t swear but I think this qualifies for being really happy. I seriously hate those crutches. Now I’m still carrying them around with me because i haven’t quite figured out how to get on/off a curb without them but I don’t need them for normal walking or for stairs. They’re more of a comfort right now in case I get really tired or find something really difficult to do.

So my mom has been taking care of me, which is really really nice of her. Sadly she went home today. Though while she was here she made a lot of fun of me because a few days ago the pain really stopped being all that bad and I started walking around again. But then yesterday I almost started crying because of this bruise that I have.

So mom thinks this is hilarious because I didn’t really complain at all about the pain right after surgery. I muscled through all of that just fine. And I even thought it was cool the progress I was making. Until these bruises showed up. I mean I guess I can admit that it is a little funny that the surface wounds make me cry but, you know, surgery doesn’t. I’m a weirdo, what can I say?

That said I think I’m actually healing up nicely. If you’ll believe it the bruises are way smaller. And I feel good about it.

ACL Reconstruction Post-Op: Day 4

March 26th, 2011 § 0

So it’s Saturday morning after having had surgery on Tuesday. Overall I feel pretty good. The worst part I think is not being able to sleep consistently. I stopped taking pain killers yesterday and I don’t feel any worse for it so I think that’s a good decision. I am finally able to go up stairs by myself with just crutches. It’s nice that my roommates will still walk me up and down to make sure I don’t injure myself but I can’t tell you how amazing it feels to know that I can actually do at least part of it by myself.

They say that my knee looks really good for after surgery and that I can take the bandage off myself. Personally I think it looks way better with the bandage on than off.

Though they say the scars are healing well and the bandage still looks good on the wound itself so I guess that’s a good thing. I think it looks all gross and black and blue but it could be worse, I suppose.

The hardest part about surgery is not having your independence. To rely on people for a glass of water or food or pretty much anything is a major bummer. It’s been a real adjustment for me because I will get up fully intending on getting a glass of water just to sit back down again because I realize even though I am perfectly capable of walking to the kitchen and filling up a glass of water once I’m there, I can’t actually carry it back because I’m using crutches.

There is also this thing that I have to wear a billion times a day (no joke) that compresses and pumps ice water around my leg. It’s actually pretty cool (no pun intended). It’s called a “Game Ready” and it’s really useful to have around, I’m sufficiently impressed with how high tech and awesome it is. It’s the red thing in the corner of the picture below.

I’m really lucky that my mom came up to take care of me. Even though she isn’t the strongest person around it really really helps to have someone keep track of how much I have to ice and to make sure I eat food. She also helps keep track of how much pain medication I need and to make sure I do my exercises. I’d probably do them anyway but it’s nice to have someone around so that I don’t forget. And I have the best roommates ever who helped me up and down the stairs when I couldn’t manage on my own. They’re pretty much the best guys ever. I thank my lucky stars every day for letting me find them. To be honest it’s kindof nice to have my mom around and my roommates and all of us being able to eat meals and hang out together.

Distracto-Meme!

March 10th, 2011 § 1

So since I keep freaking myself out when left alone with too much time on my hands, I decided to play along with this meme that D has up.

Also, I’ll be honest the whole music in memes is really hard because my musical tastes change… ALL THE TIME. I mean seriously people, how do you pick a favourite song… of ever? I can’t. So you know, you get the song I’m listening to. And the artists I currently listen to most frequently.

And since everyone else seems to be commenting on their own, I guess I’ll comment on mine too. Sometimes I love my handwriting and other days I think it is messy and ridiculous. Today, I think it’s ok, it’s like it’s trying to hold itself together but is wavering a bit… just like me! har har har.
(click to see giant size!)

Seriously, 2011?!

March 8th, 2011 § 0

For the first time in my life I can truly say that I am a little bit terrified. And I’m not really sure if there’s anything that’s going to make me feel better. Normally I’m not scared of anything. Pretty much at all. But I am a little scared of having to have surgery and 6 months of rehab. In fact, I’m not really afraid of surgery at all. That part I’m ok with, what I’m scared of is that I won’t be responsible enough to do the rehab part correctly. I’m scared of being alone. I’m scared of trying to push myself too hard too fast because I do that a lot. I’m scared that somehow I will make this worse before I can make it better.

Thankfully as afraid as I am of being alone, I have a posse of truly amazing friends that I know are here for me. I always feel silly whenever I talk to one of them because they remind me that I’m not as alone as I feel. It’s just that I don’t need them right this minute so they’re not right here. But they will be when I do actually need them to help out. It is comforting to know that someone will be there to catch me when I fall.

2011, I have now started a list. I’m pretty sure I hate you. And it’s only the first week of March, which by the way is a few days shy of my birthday. Possibly worst year of all time: 1. MIA laptop. 2. stolen bike. 3. dead car. 4. torn ACL that requires surgery. (I’m not counting the crazy month of work crap because it’s too vague and hard to define). And let’s be honest we haven’t even made it a quarter of the way through the year. Clearly this is awesome. You know, generally I believe that life works out the way it’s supposed to. And sometimes bad things happen to good people so better things can come along. Right now, I’m *really* starting to question that.

I keep flipping from feeling really alone and really scared about having to even have surgery to being really angry at the world for all of this happening at once. Every time I keep thinking that this year is going to get better something happens that just makes it worse. I want to believe that that’s not true and that it will get better but for the first time in a very long time I’m having trouble hanging on to hope. I like to view the world through rose colored glasses. It is so much harsher through the cold clear view of reality.

Six Confessions

February 22nd, 2011 § 1

Ok so not gonna lie, I have a thing for memes. And I was over at D’s blog when I saw that she had joined the bandwagon. So then I figured, what the hell? I’ll just jump on too.

In fact, in an unusually awesome transition.
1. I secretly *love* memes and quizzes. Honestly, and this is really embarrassing to admit, I joined a free dating website strictly because of all the quizzes and crap they have posted on there.
2. I have recently discovered this buffalo chicken sandwich thing at the local convenient store next to my house that I am slightly addicted to. It’s a little unhealthy how much I love these things. Also slightly concerning since I’m pretty sure nothing about them is even remotely natural. But seriously, so good. Total guilty pleasure.
3. When I was younger I kindof always dreamed that my grown up life would be really gay and really fun but I never actually expected it to happen. Like the fact that I’ve been *in* the pride parade for multiple years still amazes me. I’m pretty sure when I was little I was convinced that I would be married with 2.5 kids and being boring right now. Apparently some things do change.
4. Secretly I think I’m a giant. In real life I’m 5′, in my head I don’t even know what dimensions are but let’s just say most of my friends are male and over 6′ and somehow I believe I fit right in.
5. I have a problem with unread messages in my inbox. Seriously they freak me out, yo. And it scares me to look at inboxes that are “messy”. Also if I don’t respond to an email immediately after getting it, chances are it ain’t gonna happen unless it was really really important. Weird but true.
6. I have a chocolate problem. I’m not sure I really needed to confess this because anyone who knows me probably already knows this but… yeah, I have a chocolate problem.

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