Sometimes it is incredibly difficult to find the silver lining in life. I’ve been waffling between being unable to have the energy to look for the silver lining and trying so hard to find it that I just go out and do crazy things. While the crazy stuff is fun, I forget that I’m not 16 anymore, I can’t go out for 6 days in a row with no sleep and still be able to do the work I need to do for grad school and hold down a grown up job. Thankfully I have yet to do anything so idiotic that I get fired from said grown up job but that doesn’t really make me feel any better because I know I’m smarter than this. Anyway the point of this is not to crib about all of that but to point out that sometimes even when life is hard there really is a silver lining in there somewhere.
I mention this because I have a lot of friends who are struggling with the job search right now and um, I understand just how much it sucks. I remember when I got out of college and I didn’t have a place to live or enough money to do anything. I lived mostly out of my car for nearly 2 months but thank god for D who let me crash with her during that time before I had enough money to even be able to afford an apartment. It sucks. But remember it’s not permanent and it’s not forever. I even ended up taking a couple of AWFUL jobs in that time. I was a glorified secretary that they called an office manager except I did all sorts of crap stuff, like replace soda in the refrigerators and make lunch on Fridays. I swear it was the most frustrating thing ever because I thought to myself, “I went to college. I have a double major in Physics & Philosophy. And honestly, I’m smarter than most of you people that work here, I can’t believe I have to do this. This is so demeaning.” And at the time it really was.
Oh and there was this OCD woman that I worked for. You would think that someone with OCD is really clean, that’s just the general stereotype. Wrong. She had stacks of paper piled so high that there was just a narrow little pathway from the entrance to the staircase which I would have to go up to go to her “computer room”. And everything was covered in plastic because she had “cleanliness issues”. She also ran a “clutter workshop” to help others declutter their lives and for the life of me I do not understand because I really didn’t think she was the picture of learning how to clean up your clutter. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to make fun of her, I’m glad she was trying to organize her life. It just didn’t really seem like it to me. Not to mention it was terrifying to walk through that house once a week, it was just… I don’t even know how to describe it but it is certainly etched in my memory.
And this is all just stuff I *had* to do to get by at the time. So ok, my life is not perfect right now. I will give myself enough legitimacy that I’m allowed to be sad and to look forward to 2010 being a better year but seriously, my life is not that bad. I have a place to live with a roommate that I really like. (Actually, I think Adam is just a gem. I have a friend who is having the most awful time – lost his job and got kicked out of his apartment. *WALKED* from Lakeview to Downtown Chicago [that’s like 10miles] in the winter in freezing weather to a job interview because that’s how desperately he wants to be employed and not be in the place he’s in right now. – so I told Adam I’d like to offer this guy a place to stay and, seriously I love this boy, Adam’s response was “Of course he can stay with us. If it becomes an issue we’ll think of something when we get there, we can’t let him be homeless. We’ll figure something out. Tell him to come over whenever he wants.” Seriously, Adam is *such* a gem.) I have a job that I actually really like. And I’m in school for something that I’m actually really interested in. And I’ve got incredible friends, even if some of them are thousands of miles away they’re still there. So really there is some silver lining out there. Sometimes it’s just about perspective and being able to see it. And for everyone who is looking for a job, I know the economy blows. I know it’s really hard. But I promise you it will not be like this forever. You will find something. Cut yourself a break. Even if it’s just for an hour. Also I know it seems like the most overwhelming thing in the world right now but it will get better and there are good things out there outside of needing to find employment. You’ll get there, just have a little faith even if that sounds impossible right now.