You know when I started this blog I didn’t intend it to be too personal. And then I had a horrible break up and two surgeries so I guess those lines have blurred considerably. Surgery can be a little difficult on the spirit and leave you feeling a little emotionally drained.
Anyway this morning I found this letter I wrote to myself two years ago. It was fortuitous that I found it today because I’ve been feeling pretty down lately and it is really appropriately timed to remind me that I have to try to lift my spirits myself and to be kind to myself.
you are breaking your own heart. let her go. be good to yourself. cut yourself a break. you are a good person and you deserve to be happy. and you deserve to be loved. to be loved by someone who gets you. in the right ways. to be with someone who brings out the best in you. i know it still hurts and that’s ok. it’s ok because you are a caring, kind person who needs some time to get over everything. and it’s ok if you never come around. you don’t have to be friends if you don’t want to. you deserve to be good to you. first and foremost. when you are ready, you will find someone. and it will be great. until then, enjoy the time you have with your friends and family and everything else. you owe it to yourself not to settle for anything less than what you want. some day you’ll see, it’s all going to work out fine, you just don’t know it yet. life is a journey and you have to let it lead you. follow the turns and the bends. don’t be lazy but don’t fight change. live with all you have. love as much as you can and don’t sweat the small stuff. let your heart be broken because when you find the right person you will cherish it that much more. remember you know nothing. life is all about learning and it’s not about where you went to school or what grades you made, everyone can teach you something. appreciate that for what it’s worth. learn to be kind to yourself. for anyone else to love you, you must first love yourself: body, mind and soul. know that you can never care too much. and just because it might hurt doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take a leap of faith every now and again. look for the bright spots when it is darkest because you’ll see there’s always something there if you look hard enough. love yourself enough to know that no matter how hard it is today, tomorrow will be better. and never never lose hope. remember you have always believed that life works the way it was supposed to. and faith is believing when common sense tells you not to. sometimes faith is all you’ve got. but you know it will work out in the end.