Tag: humor

ACL Reconstruction Post-Op: Day 7

by rhealitycheck

So yesterday I went to my second PT session and I have been relieved of my crutches. Hell yeah b*!$#es! Ok so I normally don’t swear but I think this qualifies for being really happy. I seriously hate those crutches. Now I’m still carrying them around with me because i haven’t quite figured out how to get on/off a curb without them but I don’t need them for normal walking or for stairs. They’re more of a comfort right now in case I get really tired or find something really difficult to do.

So my mom has been taking care of me, which is really really nice of her. Sadly she went home today. Though while she was here she made a lot of fun of me because a few days ago the pain really stopped being all that bad and I started walking around again. But then yesterday I almost started crying because of this bruise that I have.

So mom thinks this is hilarious because I didn’t really complain at all about the pain right after surgery. I muscled through all of that just fine. And I even thought it was cool the progress I was making. Until these bruises showed up. I mean I guess I can admit that it is a little funny that the surface wounds make me cry but, you know, surgery doesn’t. I’m a weirdo, what can I say?

That said I think I’m actually healing up nicely. If you’ll believe it the bruises are way smaller. And I feel good about it.

Is This Really Necessary?

by rhealitycheck

So I know my friend, D, just went through this recently where she went on the pill and was horrified by the resulting aftermath. I, too, decided that maybe I would give it a shot. My reasons are different from the majority of women on the pill. I typically don’t sleep with men so I’m not really concerned about getting pregnant. However my cramps can be a nightmare and I am an emotional disaster depending on the state of my hormones. Clearly, knowing that I’m an emotional disaster depending on the state of my hormones means I should try to fuck with them by using some synthetic ones. Clearly, I’m a genius.

Well anyway, the hype is that they help a lot. That said my first week with them was far from pleasant. It involved a lot of crying. Crying of the sobbing uncontrollably variety at work. And let me tell you it’s a little hard to explain why you’re sobbing uncontrollably when there’s really no reason other than my hormones are out of whack and that pen was the wrong color. Seriously, the blue was upsetting (or something equally trivial and stupid). That said things seem to have calmed down, I’m in the middle of week 3 and I’m still a little easier to tip over to the side of crying, which is super awkward cause I’m not really a crier, but it is getting a lot better.

Though I have to think, if this were something that effected men we wouldn’t be doing experiments on our own body right now. They’d have figured something better out instead of – well just wait it out and see what happens. I mean seriously, what kind of an answer is that. I am living in my own personal version of hell and you’re telling me that I just have to wait and see if I adjust. Do I get a refund on those 3 months of my life? Cause that would be stellar too. Anyway, at least I feel vindicated about some of the times when I do know that I’m just super on edge and it’s not *just* me. I suppose in a way that makes it worth it, though I’m not entirely sure just how.

My Life As Depicted By Someone Else

by rhealitycheck

So I don’t really read blogs. Yes, I realize that it is strange that I have a blog but I don’t really read them. Actually let me qualify that last statement, I read my friends’ blogs so I know what’s going on in their lives. That aside, I don’t blog that much and I really don’t read too many blogs. Every once in a while, I’ll find something funny and I’ll follow it for a short spurt but it rarely tends to last in the long-term (unless of course I know you in real life – apparently even though I am an IT person I’m not really an internet-y person).

Anyway, the point of this post is my friend (somewhat) recently sent me this link. On first glance, I thought to myself, “Oh she’s pretty funny and this could totally be my life. Haha.” And then June happened.

So I graduated from grad school in June and I thought to myself, “Ok, Rhea, maybe it is time to be a real adult and you know, clean and stuff.” So I balanced my checkbook, paid all my bills, cleaned the whole apartment, watered my bamboo (it’s a miracle that thing is still alive) and actually got groceries. It was amazing, it was like I was a real adult. And I thought to myself, surely I can keep this up now that I’m not in grad school. That was my first mistake. As depicted in said blog entry there was this little downward spiral from my first self congratulatory remark which lead to last weekend where I spent the whole weekend in bed and consumed ice cream and chocolate. Clearly I am totally an adult and capable of making good life decisions consistently. Sigh, it’s sad how well I relate to that post.

Is This Just A Bad Joke?

by rhealitycheck

Or have American politics really gotten this crazy? Most recently I discovered these amazingly terrifying commercials sponsored by Carly Fiorina for her campaign to be the Republican nominee for California’s senate seat. I was looking her up because I was listening to NPR on my way to work, as usual, but I heard this fabulous snippet from a Republican debate where Tom Campbell was the only Republican that thinks that people on the no-fly list should not be able to obtain arms. Ok, so I’m a bleeding-hearted liberal but I can’t possibly be the only one that agrees with him. I mean I’m from Texas, I get the desire to exercise your right to the Second Amendment. However, logically, I would think that if you are on the no-fly list, perhaps we shouldn’t allow you to buy any form of weapon. Just going on a limb here, if you’re dangerous enough to not let on an aircraft why would we let you buy a gun? Seriously, why? I have to say I completely agree with Campbell when he said, “I can’t believe what I am hearing. Wait until they’re off the no-fly list then exercise your second amendment rights.”


Though this gets better when you see Fiorina’s commercials, which I found thanks to this little gem of an NPR blogger. First we have the demon sheep and then the Boxer blimp. So I don’t agree with everything Ken Rudin (aka the Political Junkie) says but he’s witty and interesting and definitely puts an interesting perspective on things. And I can’t help but being right in step with him on his last few comments about the Boxer blimp:

Last month I suggested that “demon sheep” might be “the worst political ad ever.” Now I’m not sure. I can’t tell if this “hot air” ad is simply terrible … or so incredibly terrible that it’s brilliant.


I mean I don’t quite understand exactly what Fiorina is going for with these ads but if it’s to get attention well she certainly has mine. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing just yet but I’m listening… Albeit horrified but I guess the idea is that any attention is better than none?

So that was the first of my “am I just in a dream-like state questioning” until yesterday when I was reading Gail Collins, who I absolutely adore and happened to be the commencement speaker at Mount Holyoke (my alma mater) this year. Also can I mention how bitter I am that we got Nina Totenberg and 2010 got Gail Collins? Seriously, you would think Nina Totenberg would have been awesome however all she did was talk to us about getting married and making great wives. Totally what you want to hear graduating from a college that prides itself in alumni that want to change the world, not define themselves by their husbands. And let’s not forget the rather prevalent gay population that she completely ignored. Oy. Anyway, enough of that rant (which clearly should’ve left behind with everything else from 2005), where I was actually going is: Gail Collins is amazing and I just stumbled on this piece about how a millionaire is running for the Republican nomination for the Connecticut senate seat. It gets even better because not only is she a millionaire but Linda McMahon is the CEO of the WWE. Seriously, did American politics and Hollywood just collide into a spectacle of the ridiculous or is it just me?

Oh and no joke, google image search Linda McMahon, this is in the first 5 photos that show up. Seriously, this is a woman we want in the US Senate?

If I Were Doing Windows Updates On My Birthday, I’d Be Doing A Meme…

by rhealitycheck

as I wait for them to install.

I took this meme from D, of course.

If I were a month, I’d be March. (you know, March in Texas is just incredible because it’s when the wildflowers are in bloom and the weather is just gorgeous)

photo source

If I were a day of the week, I’d be Sunday.

If I were a time of day, I’d be afternoon when the sun is highest in the sky.

If I were a planet, I’d be lush and green, with seasons but a short winter and a long fall, lots of colors and beautiful weather, with just enough cloudy, rainy days to make you appreciate the beautiful ones.

If I were a sea animal, I’d be a dolphin.

If I were a direction, I’d be moving forward.

If I were a piece of furniture, I’d be my bed, it is the comfiest place on earth (and I am not the only person that agrees with this statement).

If I were a liquid, I’d be the ocean.

If I were a gemstone, I’d be chrysoberyl.

If I were a tree, I’d be a Live Oak. (reminds me of growing up in Houston).

photo source

If I were a tool, I’d not be.

If I were a flower, I’d be a Sunflower (one of my dearest friends and teachers described me as one and while it is not my favourite flower, I think her description was lovely and so I still cherish it to this day and like to think of myself as one).

photo source

If I were a kind of weather, I would sunny with a chance of meatballs.

If I were a musical instrument, I’d be a flute.

If I were a color, I’d be green (probably apple green).

If I were an emotion, I’d be butterflies.

If I were a fruit, I’d be a kiwi.

If I were a sound, I’d be running water.

If I were an element, I’d be fire-water.

If I were a car, I’d be a porsche.

If I were a food, I’d be chocolate covered strawberries.

photo source

If I were a place, I’d be a tropical island.

If I were a material, I’d be linen – looks good with anything, easy to dress up or down, hard to break but easy to get dirty and made for summer.

If I were a taste, I’d be expensive.

If I were a scent, I’d be a mix of Chanel No.5 & Drakkar.

If I were an object, I’d be a book.

If I were a body part, I’d be eye-lashes.

If I were a facial expression, I’d be a smile.

If I were a song, I’d be Taking The Long Way (Dixie Chicks – totally Texas and totally my life).

If I were a pair of shoes, I’d be these:
Dior Heels

“Family” Dinners

by rhealitycheck

So a couple of friends and I have recently started a little tradition to do “family dinners”. Which is really just three of us that live a couple blocks apart making an effort to get together every Sunday for dinner and some bad TV (or movies) and just hang out for a little bit on a Sunday night.

This Sunday I was particularly excited because my friend, Case, decided to make Corn and Sausage Chowder, which might sound a little odd but is actually quite delicious. Now, Case calls himself a Kansas cooker and I love it cause he just throws all sorts of random stuff in the pot and it just works. He claims he got this from his mother who would make them help her out as kids by finding stuff in the kitchen that they thought would be good in a soup. I adore Corn Chowder but I have never ever made it nor did I have any clue how until last night, which makes no sense because it falls into that Southern Comfort food category which I just adore. Though for some reason I’m more of a French cooker… like my bible is the Larousse Gastronomique, has been since I ever set foot in a kitchen. I do things like souffle and mousse and braised short ribs (which is on the menu for next weekend). It makes no sense coming from an Indian girl born and raised in Texas. You’d think I’d know how to do good Southern Comfort food or at least Indian food. But no, I’ve got nothin’ on either of those. However, you want me to make you souffle or risotto or anything that involves heavy cream, I’m your girl. Example, next week is my turn for dinner and I’m doing braised short ribs in a sauerkraut sauce over swiss chard, crunchy green beans with almonds & garlic and either pureed potatoes or polenta with mushrooms. Oh and lemon souffle with fresh raspberries to finish. (Well ok the raspberries might not be in season, I forget I am not in Texas and can’t get whatever I want whenever I want pretty much all year round but definitely the souffle).

That being said, I was just stunned at how simple, easy and delicious corn chowder is! Now we made enough soup for a small army (note there are only 3 of us eating this soup, we had enough leftovers for the rest of the week for all of us) but here is the recipe as follows:

Corn & Sausage Chowder
1 qt half/half
2 large-ish russet potatoes
3 bell peppers (in any colors you’d like, we had red & green)
1 large onion
1 can creamed sweet corn
2 cans sweet whole kernel corn
2 large sausages
1 bag flour
Salt
Pepper
and any other seasonings you’d like
(feel free to leave out the sausages and add other miscellaneous veggies as you’d like)

Slice one potato into very thin slices and then dice the other one into 1/4″ cubes. Throw the sliced potato into a very very large pot half filled with water and turn on to boil.

Dice all other vegetables and sausage. Put sausage into a large saucepan and brown. Let cook for about 2-5mins. After that add in the onions. Let those cook until they look somewhat clear. Then add in all the other veggies and saute for another 10-15mins. Once the veggies look just tender.

Pour all the ingredients from the saucepan into the pot of boiling water. Add in about 3/4-1qt heavy cream. Add in all the cans of corn.

In a separate bowl mix together water and flour until smooth. As the soup cooks and you want it to thicken add in the flour-water mixture. Repeat this step as many times as necessary to get the soup to the consistency that you’d like – the thicker you want it the more flour-water mix you should add.

Add in salt & pepper generously to taste. We put in cayenne pepper, garlic salt, all spice and something else. But the spices can be just about anything based on what you like and what you want in it. Also I like to think a little splash of beer gives it some good character. Keep on relatively high heat and check on it every few minutes, stir as necessary.

The whole process takes about an hour to make. It’s really not bad and it’s an excellent meal. Especially in the winter when it’s super cold outside. It was pretty perfect for yesterday.

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

by rhealitycheck

Because otherwise you might want to cry. Especially with the way the economy is these days.

This morning I logged in to the New York Times website, which is a typical first glance before I start my work day routine for me. And I almost started laughing because I saw as one of the pictures in their “Picturing the Recession” segment was a photo of a store that I have passed by on my way to work quite often. In fact I found the sign in that photograph that says “RECESSION FLOWER PRICES $1.00/stem” so amusing that just a week ago I had taken a photo of it on my phone and sent it to a friend of mine because we were just talking about buying flowers for a birthday party. And what girl doesn’t love to get flowers? They’re just so beautiful. At any rate, I know many of the recession photos are quite sad but personally I like things like these because they make me chuckle.

Here’s the photo I sent my friend:

recession flowers
recession flowers

Sunday Morning Reads

by rhealitycheck

I have a tendency to flip through my Sunday T Magazine a bit quickly because I should really be doing homework and not reading the paper for fun – especially not the style magazine of all things but I very rarely can resist. It is my favourite part of the Sunday paper, I just adore looking at all the beautiful clothes and new styles but I often find that I don’t see many articles that truly catch my attention (I’m more a science section fan in that regard).

So imagine my surprise when I found the article “Butch Fatale” and my delight when I saw the fabulous outline of Rachel Maddow. As a member of the queer community it is always a pleasant surprise to see any such thing put in to the news. Especially into T Magazine, I mean that’s a pretty great place to be. It’s interesting because the article speaks of how lesbians very often overlooked in the gay community and for that matter pretty much everywhere else. I mean there are always more than enough lesbian stereotypes to go around the table but if anyone should ask what would image would you conjure of a “hot” lesbian, I don’t think anyone could answer it. There are just too many differing views. And honestly with lipstick lesbians running about how do you even know if they’re gay? But Daphne Merkin makes a great assessment when she said that the lesbians finally have a real icon to turn to in Rachel Maddow. Maddow has captured the hearts of gays & straights, men & women… in fact, I’d say she’s bewitched pretty much anyone who leans a touch left. I’d say that’s score one for the girls that so very often get overlooked. I mean who wouldn’t want to be funny, smart, well-respected and a bit of a wallflower if you could be like Rachel Maddow? I certainly would. In the words of Daphne Merkin, I am offically a fan that “Lesbian Glamour Steps Out of the Closet” in the form of Rachel Maddow.

My next fabulous find of the morning was a piece on the absolutely classic, timeless packaging of Chanel No. 5. Perhaps it is simply because No. 5 happens to be one of my all time favourite fragrances or perhaps it is because there are certain packages that I just adore (Chanel No. 5 being one of them) that I love taking a look at how it came about. I mean I think Gabrielle Chanel was one of the most forward thinking women of her time to be able to come up with such timeless classics. I mean to understand how to imprint something into one’s memory in that way takes talent that very few people have. I always tend to relate these things to the only other thing that I think has such a timeless quality and that is the little blue box of Tiffany & Co. I know being part of the queer community that this may sound a bit like a pipe dream but I have always said whoever gets me a little blue box or a little red box (Cartier, of course) will have my hand. While I may not be entirely serious about it since I do believe in spending the rest of your life with the person you love, not just anyone that gets you the ring of your dreams but it would definitely make me think twice before refusing should it not come from the person I was hoping. Granted this is all theoretical since I am nowhere near decisions like that but I think the fact that so many of my very near and dear college friends are getting married that it does make it stand out a bit more. Not to mention in the midst of the recession things like engagement rings and Chanel just cheer up the spirits a bit. At least they do for me.