Job Hunting For New Grads

by rhealitycheck

I know that in this economy, job searching can be intimidating. It’s intimidating for me and I’ve been working for nearly 4 years and in corporate America for nearly 3 and I, thankfully, still have my job (though I am keeping my ears open since things are pretty darn unstable).

While I’ve been speaking to quite a few of my friends and family members, I found out that there are a significant number of young’uns who are seriously intimidated by the job market. Not that I blame them, I’d be intimidated too if I were just entering the job market too. But I think that if you are creative about it you can definitely find something. I’m not going to lie, it’s not easy and often you end up with things that are not fun but it is possible to get to where you want to go if you just have the tenacity to keep trying.

So let me backtrack a bit. When I was a senior in college I was too busy playing with my friends and writing my thesis to seriously job search. I applied to Teach For America in the spring – basically at the last minute, which was silly because it is much harder to get in that way. And I toyed with applying to the Peace Corps but didn’t really get around to that. Eventually, I applied to a few placement programs for placing young grads as teachers in private high schools but I was pretty late getting to them so there weren’t many places that were still looking. So come May, a few weeks before graduation I was panicking because I had my thesis defense coming up, graduation weekend and absolutely no clue what I would be doing after I graduated. Seriously, I had no idea whatsoever, it was the worst planned thing I’ve ever done. But you know I made it through my defense just fine (whew!) and graduation weekend was somewhat stressful but it went off ok. Let’s face it managing 8 family members in a new location where only you know where things are and everyone has a strong personality always is a bit challenging. The last thing I had to do was move out of the dorms and find a place to live and a job to get me through… well the rest of my life.

Thankfully I had a few good friends in the area and I hopped through a few apartments for the first few months after graduation. Let me clarify, my mom told me to come home but home is Texas and I was a bit stubborn and refused to let her pay my way down and didn’t have enough money to move myself home. So instead I opted to stay with friends for free until I found a job. So I applied to all sorts of odd jobs – not many that I actually wanted to do – just to tide me through the summer because by the time I had gotten to graduation I figured out that I wanted to teach for a couple of years. I was convinced that I wanted to be a public high school teacher for a little while because my own had made such a big impact on my life.

So the big dilemma was how do I make it through the summer without starving and being consistently homeless and finding a job for the upcoming school year without any certification or “qualification” to be a teacher. One thing I did have going for me is that I was convinced I was smart enough and qualified enough to do the job even though I had no “credentials”. When a person is job searching I think one of the most important parts is to think to yourself, “I am qualified. I don’t care what they have written on paper, I can do this job. And not only can I do this job, I can do an outstanding job of it better than anyone else out there.” (Ok, you don’t have to have that better than anyone else out there bit, but it does help to have some confidence in yourself).

So I actually ended up with this horrifying summer job where I was basically an Office Manager… or well that’s the closest to what you could call me. I did some web design, secretarial work, cooking (they would have “catered” lunches for their employees, and by catered I mean I went shopping and made them) and running random errands. The best part is that the whole business was a little shady if you ask me, it was a ticket reseller which I didn’t think was legal but apparently it is. It’s all about how you do it. Amazing the things you can learn when you will take almost any job someone will offer you. But it was enough money to get me through the summer – enough even to let me afford to live with a roommate and not just mooch off my friends.

Oh and for a short while, in that same period I was working for the ticket reseller, I was also an “assistant” for this woman who had OCD. That was another treat, so she lived pretty far away from where I was in a really rural area. And her house was filled with papers and things and I never knew the real meaning of OCD until I met her. Let me tell you OCD is not always synonymous with clean. Sometimes it is terrifying and anything but. I didn’t really last very long with that one but it was nice to have a little bit of extra spare cash for the while that I could deal with it.

So during this time I was looking for jobs teaching. So, how did I actually do that? Well to be honest, I just sent a letter with my resume and why I think I should be a teacher and they should hire me to every public high school in the area that I wanted to live in. Surprisingly, I got a call back from about 75% of the schools I sent a letter to. To top it off I got in person interviews to probably half of the schools that called me back. One of the states I applied to had much harder rules about Certification and I’m sure there are ways around it but it was the summer and pretty tough to figure something creative out at the time but the other state (and quite frankly the one I preferred to begin with) was much more lenient in the high need areas of Math, English and Special Education.

Now I know not everyone thinks teaching is awesome and I am no longer in the field but I think it is a great experience. I mean I absolutely loathed my administration and the bureaucracy can kill you but it is unbelievably rewarding to work with kids, especially in distressed neighborhoods. Also it’s not forever and it’s certainly something to consider when you’re young. I’m not a huge advocate for using it as a stop-gap in figuring out what you want to do with your life but who knows you might actually like it. Not to mention if you teach (in the public schools) for a certain number of years they will forgive some dollar amount of your student loans. I don’t remember the exact figures because I only stayed in the field for 1 year which was too short to qualify. Personally, I think teaching is one of the greatest professions out there and if you can find a school with good administration it is a blast to be there.

Teaching aside, I think there are some key things that young grads should keep in mind when looking for a job. I have a few friends who have been really down about getting a job with the way things are going. I mean tons of very qualified people have been laid off and that is totally true. But that doesn’t mean that there isn’t a job for you. And that doesn’t mean that you aren’t qualified. So here are some things that you can do:

  • Apply, apply, apply. Apply everywhere. Anywhere. Whatever you can find, just throw your resume in the hat and put a good cover letter in there for good measure too. If you can convince them you’re worth it, more power to you. If you don’t apply, you’ll never know.
  • Don’t just look at job boards. Email HR departments. Email everyone you know and ask them to pass your resume to HR or their managers or wherever. It never hurts to ask for help. Just do it.
  • Be confident when you have an interview. Don’t go in there thinking you can’t get it. They called you back, that means you’re good enough to get the job. You just have to show them that. Now let me clarify confident does not mean unnecessarily cocky.
  • Be honest. Don’t be self-deprecating but if they ask you if you know how to do something and you’re not super well versed, say something like “Well, I can’t say that I am comfortable saying that I am extremely well-versed in that area but I have dealt with it and I am confident that I can pick up anything I need to know quite quickly”.
  • Most of all, keep a positive attitude. If you don’t think you’re good, if you don’t think you can get a job no one else will for you. You have to be your own best advocate.
  • Make sure to follow up on any job you’ve applied to. If you sent someone a letter and this is something you want really badly, call them up. I can’t say it enough, it never hurts to try.
  • After an interview always, always send a thank you note – be it in writing (aka snail mail) or a phone call or an email. It doesn’t matter if the interview went fabulously or poorly, it is good practice to send a thank you note. Sometimes they’ll have you meet with too many people to remember, in that case make sure to send a thank you note to your contact and ask them to relay your appreciation to the group.

I mean let’s face it, everyone wants to hire that person who is: smart, attractive, well-dressed, organized, positive, charming and articulate. Now for the most part you can control 90% of people’s perception of you when you are at an interview simply by being well-dressed and appearing to be organized. If you are shy, it’s not the end of the world, you just have to learn how to be personable at an interview, which does not necessarily mean you have to be a “chatty Cathy”. Most of all a good attitude is composed of confidence and being positive. If you think in terms of “I can” instead of the “I can’t” mentality it will reflect when you speak to the person interviewing you. Also maintain a sense of professionalism, be personable but remember that these aren’t your friends they will be judging everything you say.

Honest World

by rhealitycheck

I remember the first time I heard Catie Curtis sing Honest World, I thought it was a great song but it didn’t really hit home for me. I mean it was great for my older wiser gay friends who had partners and were serious about life but I was 19 and not quite there yet (to put it mildly). As I’ve grown up (and I’ll put a disclaimer here: I’m not that grown up – I’m barely 26 and certainly not ready to discuss marriage) I’ve found that the song rings more and more truly with me. Perhaps it’s just because I live in the real world now and not the cocoon of a wonderful liberal arts women’s college set in the valley of progressive Western Massachusetts.

I have been meaning to write something like this since I heard about Iowa’s Supreme Court decision to allow same sex marriages. I think it is truly significant because it finally means that accepting gay marriage is not just something that those trendy liberal east/west coast progressives do. Surely Iowa is different and has been for quite some time. In fact I was reading this fab editorial in the Times about how they had some landmark cases about slavery and segregation as well. But it really makes me proud that somewhere in the mid-west where it’s not “cool” to be progressive, it’s not “cool” to have gay friends, it’s not “cool” to be a hippie but apparently it is “cool” to believe in equality. So thank you Iowa for that.

Also I couldn’t be more pleased about Vermont actually voting in legislation to allow gay marriages. Sometimes, I do miss the progressiveness of the New England countryside, even if it does mean that I’d have to give up living in a real city. Alas, I can only hope that Illinois and Chicago won’t be too far behind all these people.

Also I’d like to know what’s up with California and New York? I mean really aren’t they supposed to be our beacons of liberalism? Why are they so behind the 8 ball, I mean MA, CT, IA and VT are already light years ahead of them. Shame on you California, you call yourself the bastion of liberals and yet you actually managed to pass Prop 8. And New York hasn’t even tried, that’s almost equally if not more upsetting. Ok I’ll stop giving those two a hard time now. It’s a tough battle anywhere, I do realize that. But it would be nice if two of the largest democratic states could jump on the bandwagon. It’s a good one to be on in my opinion.

Now, I’d be even happier if one of the southern states *cough*Texas*cough* would jump on the bandwagon because I think that would really be putting equality for all to the test. (Yes, I am still holding out for Texas to surprise us all and support gay marriage or at least do something similar to what Iowa has, I still have faith that my home state can be and is progressive). I have hope and faith that it will happen eventually all over the US. But I believe that will take some more time. And one of my friends actually found this cool little blog that maps out the time-line for knocking down bans on same sex marriages. Welcome to progress my friends.

In the immortal words of Catie Curtis:
Some day, I trust
Love will make an honest world for us

Sometimes You Just Need To Ask For Help

by rhealitycheck

So I recently moved apartments, I didn’t go terribly far or at least I wouldn’t call a block and a half away terribly far. During this whole process I learned that sometimes you just need to ask for help. Now I’ve been pretty bad at asking for help my entire life. This was really bad in college when your classes get more difficult and professors expect you to be smart enough to ask for help when you need it. Well, some of us take longer than others to learn that it is better to ask for help than to flounder in “I can do this on my own” land.

Back to moving, for the main part of the move I did ask a couple of friends to help me out, which was super helpful. But I really think it would have been wiser if I had asked, oh everyone I know in Chicago to help me because in reality having just 3 people (where two of us were pretty small girls) moving is not fun. Not fun at all, in fact.

You would think I had learned from that experience right? Since I’ve finally gotten mostly unpacked but I do still need a few things here and there to be put away etc, I decided to get this beautiful dresser from Crate & Barrel yesterday evening. I can’t tell you how much I thank my lucky stars that the stupid thing has to be assembled because man, is it heavy. And I swear if it had been one piece going up 3 flights of stairs with that sucker may not have been possible, at least not all by myself. Taking up the pieces that make it up on the other hand wasn’t so bad. But um, it only has 4 pieces so the big one is still a fairly large sucker for a small person such as myself to be hauling upstairs. Thankfully, I made it up there still in one piece, although I might’ve thrown my shoulder out and gotten a few choice bruises in the process.

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

by rhealitycheck

Because otherwise you might want to cry. Especially with the way the economy is these days.

This morning I logged in to the New York Times website, which is a typical first glance before I start my work day routine for me. And I almost started laughing because I saw as one of the pictures in their “Picturing the Recession” segment was a photo of a store that I have passed by on my way to work quite often. In fact I found the sign in that photograph that says “RECESSION FLOWER PRICES $1.00/stem” so amusing that just a week ago I had taken a photo of it on my phone and sent it to a friend of mine because we were just talking about buying flowers for a birthday party. And what girl doesn’t love to get flowers? They’re just so beautiful. At any rate, I know many of the recession photos are quite sad but personally I like things like these because they make me chuckle.

Here’s the photo I sent my friend:

recession flowers
recession flowers

A Memo To Men

by rhealitycheck

I’m going to take a page out of Greg Behrendt & Liz Tuccillo’s “He’s Just Not That Into You” because after a recent night out it made me think that women are not the only ones that need to get the memo. In fact, I’d rather take the female approach and have someone stress out and wait for a phone call from me than to persistently pursue me when I’m not interested. Not all of these scenarios listed are ones that are applicable to my present life, but a few did just come up in the last week. And all of them are things that I have not only personally experienced but also have discussed with several of my friends and we all agree are incredibly annoying to deal with.

She’s just not that into you if…

  • she hasn’t called you back and you’ve called more than once.
  • you texted her more than once and have gotten no response.
  • you met her when she was out with someone else and she’s not calling you back.
  • she told you she is seeing someone.
  • she’s busy every time you want to go out.
  • she calls/chats online all the time but can’t make time to see you in person.
  • she goes home with you but doesn’t give you her phone number in the morning. (Yes, girls do this, too).
  • she won’t say yes when you ask her to marry you and you’ve asked multiple times.
  • she doesn’t want you to meet her friends.

I know girls can play hard to get. It’s true, we all do it at some point but seriously, stop calling. If we like you, I promise we’ll call you back. Yes, persistence can be a good thing. But calling every day when we aren’t responding back is just annoying.

Also as a good feminist, if I like someone, I don’t need you to ask me out. Yes it is always nice to have someone else ask you out because that whole pressure of rejection is taken away from you but honestly, not necessary. If I’m really interested, I’ll ask you out (which I realize may not be true for all women but I promise they will drop enough leading hints for you to get it). I have more faith in both men and women than both Greg and Liz, if you really like the person it doesn’t matter who asks whom out, you’ll be fine in the long run.

And let’s face it, we don’t need some arcane rules to tell us how we should be dating. In fact, we don’t need people to tell us how to “snag that girl/guy of your dreams”. Use some common sense. Treat the person you want to date the way you’d like to be treated, I think that’s a good cardinal rule. For example:

  • Would you want someone to call you every day for a week if you weren’t interested?
    No. Then don’t do it to someone else!
  • Would you want someone to ignore you and talk to their friends that happened to pass by when you’re on a date with them?
    No. Then don’t do it to someone else!

It’s amazing what a little common sense can do in the dating arena. Now if all you’re looking to do is hook up then obviously none of these things matter. But I promise calling every day will just make you look pathetic. Don’t do it. No one wants to sleep with someone whose desperate.

A Review of “He’s Just Not That Into You”

by rhealitycheck

Ok, so I haven’t read the book. I’m only judging the movie… currently. I may read the book because while I liked the movie as being your typical “chick-flick-feel-good-everything-turns-out-great-in-the-end” kind of movie, I take issue with the entire concept of a book and/or movie that feels the need to tell women “he’s just not that into you”. That being said I do love your typical chick flick so needless to say I did enjoy the film even though I do have some critiques of the premise. Warning: there are spoilers ahead – not big ones but if you haven’t seen the movie and don’t want to know anything about it, don’t read this post.

For one, I’d like to believe that we are not that stupid. It’s not like women truly don’t know when a man “is just not into” them. Sometimes people choose to believe things that are irrational. And let’s face it women aren’t the only ones. Walking out of that film my friend and I were thinking the exact same thing: why isn’t there a book/movie called “she’s just not that into you”? Honestly to be so presumptuous as to think that the female population actually needs a book called “he’s just not that into you” really bothers me. Personally, I’d like to give us a bit more credit because the female population of the world is honestly not that stupid. In fact, I’d say we are better at reading cues than our male counterparts.

Now one of the issues I had with the movie was that what it seems the premise would be is that we are not the exception but rather the rule. So if a man isn’t calling you back or whatever that he’s just not that into you. Granted I think that’s just common sense but that’s neither here nor there. But what I found to baffling is that everyone found some sort of happy ending. And really, most of the women ended up being the exception and not the rule, which I thought was rather sad if this movie was supposed to be “different”. Or perhaps, I just need to lower my expectations.

I have to say one of my favourite parts of the movie was when Drew Barrymore goes off on a rant about how dating these days is just so confusing because there’s myspace, email, twitter, texting, your work phone, your cell phone and your home phone, if you still have one of those. Technology really has made dating a completely different game and she did leave off my most favourite form of confusion which would be facebook. I find that technology can just make dating far more difficult than it really needs to be. I also find that being able to “stalk” your crush online to be a bit tricky to handle because I mean what is the dating etiquette of when to contact the person you’re interested and how or why.

On a completely unrelated sidenote, I just realized that Holi (the Hindu festival of colors) was on my birthday this year and I totally missed it. What a bummer. That would’ve been the best way to celebrate my birthday ever. (Not that my birthday wasn’t great, it was the best one in my recollection so far).

The Mosaic Post

by rhealitycheck

DIRECTIONS:
– Go to Google image search.
– Type in your answer to each question.
– Choose a picture
– Use this website ( http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php ) to make your collage.
– Save the image for use in this note.
– Post and tag all your friends.

QUESTIONS:
1. What is your name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What is your hometown?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. What is your favorite movie?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What is one word to describe yourself?
10. How are you feeling right now?
11. What do you love most in the world?
12. What do you want to be when you grow up?

mosaicsmall

How Just Is The Justice System?

by rhealitycheck

You know people talk about the law as if it were a black and white issue when in reality there are so many varying shades of gray that it is sometimes impossible to fathom all the possible outcomes of any one case. Just last week I was reading an article about the pressure that our lovely new fearless leader is facing because he doesn’t know who to support on an issue of partner benefits for federal employees. Well, the state of California recognizes these couples as legally married same-sex couples who should be able to have benefits for their partners but because of DOMA that isn’t true federally. Now I’m not a lawyer and I don’t necessarily understand all of the legal jargon that goes with this but I will say that I think it is problematic when states are allowed a certain type of behaviour while the federal government will go and contradict them. This is not to say that I agree with the federal government (in this case… and come to think of it most cases, I tend to favor what they are doing in California) but it still causes problems within the legal system of this country. Even if the law is not black and white it is still supposed to provide some sort of guideline to allow for equal rights for our citizens. Unfortunately, I don’t think it is doing such a great job of that right now.

I sincerely hope that President Obama will take this seriously enough to understand that he did campaign on some very serious promises for change and I understand that the financial crisis may be taking precedent right now that does not mean that this is something that can be avoided or left unaddressed. Personally I am thrilled that there are some judges who are willing to say what Judge Reinhardt did. This one bit of the article really struck me as something I wish more people would consider:

Judge Reinhardt confronted the question differently, and concluded that the Defense of Marriage Act, as applied to Mr. Levenson’s request, was unconstitutional because it violated the Fifth Amendment guarantee of “due process of law.”
“A bare desire to harm a politically unpopular group cannot provide a rational basis for governmental discrimination,” Judge Reinhardt wrote.
In adopting the Defense of Marriage Act, Congress said the government had a legitimate interest in “defending and nurturing the institution of traditional heterosexual marriage.”
But Judge Reinhardt said the denial of benefits to same-sex spouses would not encourage gay men and lesbians to marry members of the opposite sex or discourage same-sex marriages.
“So the denial cannot be said to nurture or defend the institution of heterosexual marriage,” the judge wrote.

Exclusivity In Relationships?

by rhealitycheck

I’m starting to wonder if perhaps my view of relationships might be a bit skewed. I’ve gotten a few different opinions from several friends and I thought I saw a trend for a while about how they view exclusivity but I am now at a complete loss because it seems to be completely random. Personally, I find dating to be stressful enough as it is without trying to decipher how to approach exclusivity much less assumptions made about exclusivity.

One thing I find particularly interesting is that there are quite a few people that I’ve spoken to who believe that if you have been seeing someone for a period of time and have been “staying over” at each other’s places then the assumption would be that you are exclusive. Now, I don’t think that it would be out of the question that most likely, you are being exclusive, but at the same time to assume that the person you are seeing is on the same page as yourself is fairly severe assumption. At least in my opinion it is. I suppose this is partially due to the fact that (hypothetically) if my significant other hadn’t asked to be exclusive or if I hadn’t asked then I would assume that should I meet someone that would like to go on a date, I would have no problem accepting. Granted for the most part when I am at that stage, I don’t tend to be looking out for anyone else and I doubt I would accept an offer from someone else but I also don’t think it is something that can be assumed. Perhaps it is just that I like to be deliberate about knowing where things stand.