Tag: nytimes

Is This Just A Bad Joke?

by rhealitycheck

Or have American politics really gotten this crazy? Most recently I discovered these amazingly terrifying commercials sponsored by Carly Fiorina for her campaign to be the Republican nominee for California’s senate seat. I was looking her up because I was listening to NPR on my way to work, as usual, but I heard this fabulous snippet from a Republican debate where Tom Campbell was the only Republican that thinks that people on the no-fly list should not be able to obtain arms. Ok, so I’m a bleeding-hearted liberal but I can’t possibly be the only one that agrees with him. I mean I’m from Texas, I get the desire to exercise your right to the Second Amendment. However, logically, I would think that if you are on the no-fly list, perhaps we shouldn’t allow you to buy any form of weapon. Just going on a limb here, if you’re dangerous enough to not let on an aircraft why would we let you buy a gun? Seriously, why? I have to say I completely agree with Campbell when he said, “I can’t believe what I am hearing. Wait until they’re off the no-fly list then exercise your second amendment rights.”


Though this gets better when you see Fiorina’s commercials, which I found thanks to this little gem of an NPR blogger. First we have the demon sheep and then the Boxer blimp. So I don’t agree with everything Ken Rudin (aka the Political Junkie) says but he’s witty and interesting and definitely puts an interesting perspective on things. And I can’t help but being right in step with him on his last few comments about the Boxer blimp:

Last month I suggested that “demon sheep” might be “the worst political ad ever.” Now I’m not sure. I can’t tell if this “hot air” ad is simply terrible … or so incredibly terrible that it’s brilliant.


I mean I don’t quite understand exactly what Fiorina is going for with these ads but if it’s to get attention well she certainly has mine. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing just yet but I’m listening… Albeit horrified but I guess the idea is that any attention is better than none?

So that was the first of my “am I just in a dream-like state questioning” until yesterday when I was reading Gail Collins, who I absolutely adore and happened to be the commencement speaker at Mount Holyoke (my alma mater) this year. Also can I mention how bitter I am that we got Nina Totenberg and 2010 got Gail Collins? Seriously, you would think Nina Totenberg would have been awesome however all she did was talk to us about getting married and making great wives. Totally what you want to hear graduating from a college that prides itself in alumni that want to change the world, not define themselves by their husbands. And let’s not forget the rather prevalent gay population that she completely ignored. Oy. Anyway, enough of that rant (which clearly should’ve left behind with everything else from 2005), where I was actually going is: Gail Collins is amazing and I just stumbled on this piece about how a millionaire is running for the Republican nomination for the Connecticut senate seat. It gets even better because not only is she a millionaire but Linda McMahon is the CEO of the WWE. Seriously, did American politics and Hollywood just collide into a spectacle of the ridiculous or is it just me?

Oh and no joke, google image search Linda McMahon, this is in the first 5 photos that show up. Seriously, this is a woman we want in the US Senate?

Reclaiming Cynical Island

by rhealitycheck

So for the longest time I have been Dictator of Cynical Island. I gave up the title when I was happily (and even for quite a good bit of the time when I was unhappily) in love. However, if you know me well, you know that I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love at my very core… probably more than I believe in anything else in this world.

Recently, I’ve become slightly obsessed with reading the Modern Love column in the New York Times. I think it’s some form of masochism because more than anything it makes me sad to read about so much of modern dating. I know I can’t possibly be the only person in her 20’s that is tired of the push and pull of modern dating and the various forms of commitment phobia that manifest themselves in our social interactions these days.

I have to say I’ve been lucky. I mean my ex and I are obviously not together. However, at least she had the decency to actually date me. In fact, all of my actual exes have been good like that. But I’ve found that it’s increasingly difficult to find anyone that actually wants to date anymore and I simply don’t understand this concept. Or even better ones who think that dating consists of “hanging out” but “not defining” the relationship. Personally I call that “fucking around”. But hey, what do I know? I mean I am “romantically challenged” after all. Perhaps I’m too demanding or it’s just intimidating to meet a girl who knows what she wants. But if I’m into you, don’t expect anything less than to be truly courted and I will not be ok with just “fucking around”. However, meeting someone that I’m actually into is excruciatingly difficult. So I’ll be honest, I don’t often meet anyone I’m interested in more than just sex with. And it’s not like I won’t tell you if I don’t want the same things as you do (as nicely as possible, I hate hurting people’s feelings but I hate leading them on more). And don’t try and convince me that it’s ok to just continually float from person to person “hooking up”. Been there, done that, have the postcard. It’s honestly, not that satisfying. Sure it does pass the time but if you’re looking for a real connection, hooking up is not the way to go. Perhaps taking a chance that love might exist and going on a real date is the way to go.

Maybe it’s just that the “hooking up” culture was in its nascent form when I hit high school and college so out of my friends group a significant number are either married or in a very stable couple or at the very least in some way want that someday. We believe in dating. We believe in love. And we believe in forever. Ok, maybe not *all* of my friends do but I’d say there’s a large majority of us that do.

Having said that, I’m still confused why so many young people are addicted to this culture of no-strings when that’s not what I think anyone is actually looking for. While I was reading Modern Love, I stumbled upon this series they did a while ago about how college students feel about love. There are two pieces that break my heart. One is written by a woman who is talking about how even though she tries to keep herself detached what she really wants is something more permanent. The other is written by a young man who talks about how insecurity keeps so many people from finding something more real but how in the back of your mind you still want that real connection.

So I think it’s about time I reclaim my dictatorship and as my friend B says, “all we need are a few good guinea pigs :)”

scratch any cynic and you’ll find a disappointed idealist
[george.carlin]

If you know me well, you know…

by rhealitycheck

So my lovely friend D wrote this post the other day that I thought was really interesting. Apparently she found it here, and I also loved that post too. So here I am playing along… on my not-so-personal-but-getting-to-be-rather-personal blog.

If you know me well, you know that all my tattoos have significant meaning to me but my piercings were done on a whim, i love physics (and philosophy), am a super liberal feminist but I totally use the “I’m a girl” card to get someone to change a tire or the oil for me even though I’m perfectly capable of doing both myself.

If you know me well, you know I am a sucker for romantic comedies, I live for chocolate and I have the willpower of a gnat when it comes to things I want.


If you know me well, you know I *love* cooking (seriously, I have a slight obsession with food), decorating (and redecorating) and arranging flowers. Seriously every once in a while I contemplate putting myself up for sale: “Fantastic housewife available to a good home. Will cook, decorate and keep a lovely home. Contingent on a large budget. (Let’s not lie, I’ve got expensive taste).” or you know changing careers to be an event planner… or wedding planner.

If you know me well, you know I’m so obsessive about my hair that I cut it myself because I don’t think anyone else can do as good a job, I love chai (the fake Starbuck’s kind even though it’s totally not right) and I hate running but love soccer.

If you know me well you know that despite being a jeans and t-shirt girl, I love love love dresses and skirts and makeup, and if you make it past the tattoos, piercings, sarcasm and cynicism, I am a hopeless romantic and I view the world in hearts, stars, rainbows and puppies.

If you know me well, you know that despite my self-professed geekdom I am really not that geeky. I mean I work in IT but I have never owned a gaming system, nor do I play computer games and for an extended period of time I thought WoW was just people spelling wow rather enthusiastically. Apparently one shelf of fantasy novels does not equate to actual geekdom.

If you know me well, you know I love playing sports but can’t watch them to save my life, I am in a serious long-term relationship with Grey’s Anatomy, I move cities like it’s my job (though Chicago does seem to be sticking pretty well so far) and I desperately miss Texas.

Yep, That’s My Hometown

by rhealitycheck

The largest US city to elect an openly gay mayor, yes that would in fact be Houston, Texas. It’s made headlines in the New York Times, the Boston Globe, the BBC and countless other news organizations. I am exceptionally excited about this because not only is it the first openly gay mayor but also the second woman to be mayor. Our first female mayor, Kathy Whitmire, was absolutely fabulous. I just remember Houston being an exceptionally vibrant and interesting city to live in as a kid when she was in charge. Sadly, as all things go in politics she eventually left and the city has simply never been the same. So I am extremely hopeful that Annise Parker can do some great things for the city. Not to mention this is *huge* for the gay rights movement. Not only do we have another openly gay mayor but it’s in a relatively conservative town in a really conservative state where it is not that easy to get over the gay issue. I have always stood by the fact that Texans would come around eventually because we’re not as backwards as everyone seems to think we are and I believe this would finally be proof! I am so ecstatic that it’s my hometown that has made headlines about this. I am truly proud to be a Houstonian.

Kudos to you, Houston, for being the largest American city to elect an openly gay mayor 🙂

What Happens When There’s Trouble In Paradise?

by rhealitycheck

There is this absolutely fabulous article in the New York Times about what happens when your marriage (or relationship) is falling apart after years of things being just fine. The title of the article is Those Aren’t Fighting Words, Dear and she goes on to speak about how to relate your loved one saying that they want to end things or that they don’t love you and choosing not to believe them. I may be a novice at relationships but I truly think that the advice she gives is pretty darn amazing because no matter if you have been together for 6 months or 60 years there are times when things will be difficult not because of you but for reasons outside of you. My best friend was talking to me the other day and her philosophy of life is that if you make yourself happy then everything will fall into place. And it’s taken me a while but I do actually believe that. Controlling everything around you is certainly not possible and sometimes you need to let the person you love rail and rage and storm all around you and just try to weather the storm. I don’t think it’s easy and it’s actually quite difficult to do in practice but I think once you realize this it’s possible to make it out the other side a much stronger couple. And I’m aware that this is not a “fun” prospect and it can be quite wearying and the natural reaction may be the exact opposite but I think if you can hold yourself up and remember what makes you a healthy, whole, happy person independent of the “us” then you can make the “us” stronger, much stronger in fact. Sometimes through the obstacles and through all the challenges we find what we are actually meant for. Being able to deal with a major crisis and still love each other through it and after it are what is most important. It is so easy to lose sight of and to get caught up in everything else that is going on around you. But if you are able to hold on to those key reasons that make you love that person. Then you have found something worth saving, you have found something worth “fighting” for.

Has The Infatuation Worn Off?

by rhealitycheck

It appears that at least for Maureen Dowd it has, which makes me rather happy because it did get a bit tiresome to read her generally quippy columns that were just glowing reports of the soon-to-be commander-in-chief. This most recent op-ed was actually quite refreshing as she brought up our fearless leader’s ability to crush a fly and I quote:

If only the president could be so brazen about pushing through gay rights and health care.

Thank you, Ms. Dowd. I couldn’t’ve said it better myself. I sure wish our fearless leader would be a little more fearless with things that mattered than with, say, a fly.

This has actually been quite a sore point for me recently because I have quite a few friends (who just happen to be straight males) that have been so baffled by the reaction of many gay activists at Obama’s inaction. Personally, I think we should let gay marriage go through the states before we try any federal action, it just seems to be a bit premature to me but I can understand why many people are upset about it. They backed a candidate who pledged allegiance to equal rights but is now incredibly quiet on the issue now that he is in office. I find that disappointment quite understandable, though considering he did say on the campaign trail that he does not believe in gay marriage even though he does believe in equal rights I am not all that shocked. So in general, I’m quite glad that some of the Obama fan camp are actually looking at him objectively.

Separate But Not Equal

by rhealitycheck

I am truly disappointed with the latest ruling from the California Supreme Court. It’s amazing that even the Republican Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger, supports gay marriage and yet it got struck down. What I find so fascinating is that in the weeks leading up to this decision there are quite a few states that have begun to allow same-sex marriages. In fact, New England has been trying to become the first “region” to allow same-sex marriages everywhere. It appears that they seem to think of it a bit like a challenge of who can be the most open-minded though I’m not sure the rest of the country got that memo.

And the idea has been raised that there were 3 states that have either passed legislation or court decisions that allow same-sex marriages or have submitted legislation that is very likely to pass may raise the question, “What if the religious right doesn’t have so much power?” It’s an interesting position but I’m not sure I believe it completely. This article at slate really made me consider this seriously and I think it would have held more ground had it not been for the fact that the California Supreme Court sided in favor of Proposition 8.

Also, why is it that this is such a new concept? I mean ok, I’ll admit that transsexuals are not the most commonly discussed topic but that doesn’t mean they don’t exist. So what happens when a man marries a woman but then one of the two decide to undergo a sex change and they are still together. Does that mean that their marriage is no longer legal? Or is it legal? Or can they even get divorced at that point? It really raises a lot of very valid questions. This op-ed piece really made me think about it a lot. I’ll admit I hadn’t considered the argument before I read this but I think it’s a very valid one. And surely makes life so much more complicated.

I think the part that I don’t understand the most is how anyone can view this as anything but inequality.

It’s Like Dr. Doolittle

by rhealitycheck

Well perhaps a little different but I was certainly super excited to hear about this study in this morning’s paper. Apparently there are some scientists who have managed to extract the human language gene and insert it into mice. Now tell me, how cool is that? Because I think it’s pretty darn cool. Some days I really wish I went into research, there are just so many mind-boggling things discovered like that all the time. Granted, I’m sure there are a lot of failures that go along with it but just think of how cool it would be to have a talking mouse!

I wonder what this would mean if we actually managed to create other animals that could talk. How would that change the balance of the world? I mean I would imagine that humans have this ability which has given us an edge over the rest of the animal kingdom. I mean we don’t have the sharp teeth or nails or really many other mechanisms of defense. What we do have is our intellect and our ability to communicate in a very robust manner. I mean if other animals could communicate in the same robust manner that we do would that mean that we are leading the way to our demise? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think we should stop this research because I think it is seriously awesome. But I do wonder what the implications could be.

Actually it sortof draws my mind to Wicked, I don’t recall the play as well but in the book there were animals and Animals. The Animals were conscious and had the ability to speak and understand language whereas the animals were like those in our world. It would be interesting to see if something like that could happen in reality. And also I always wonder why we humans want to dress animals up in clothing. Perhaps if they had the ability to communicate they would tell us that fashion is a ridiculous social construct. And that walking on two legs is for the birds. But who really knows? There are so many possibilities.

Honest World

by rhealitycheck

I remember the first time I heard Catie Curtis sing Honest World, I thought it was a great song but it didn’t really hit home for me. I mean it was great for my older wiser gay friends who had partners and were serious about life but I was 19 and not quite there yet (to put it mildly). As I’ve grown up (and I’ll put a disclaimer here: I’m not that grown up – I’m barely 26 and certainly not ready to discuss marriage) I’ve found that the song rings more and more truly with me. Perhaps it’s just because I live in the real world now and not the cocoon of a wonderful liberal arts women’s college set in the valley of progressive Western Massachusetts.

I have been meaning to write something like this since I heard about Iowa’s Supreme Court decision to allow same sex marriages. I think it is truly significant because it finally means that accepting gay marriage is not just something that those trendy liberal east/west coast progressives do. Surely Iowa is different and has been for quite some time. In fact I was reading this fab editorial in the Times about how they had some landmark cases about slavery and segregation as well. But it really makes me proud that somewhere in the mid-west where it’s not “cool” to be progressive, it’s not “cool” to have gay friends, it’s not “cool” to be a hippie but apparently it is “cool” to believe in equality. So thank you Iowa for that.

Also I couldn’t be more pleased about Vermont actually voting in legislation to allow gay marriages. Sometimes, I do miss the progressiveness of the New England countryside, even if it does mean that I’d have to give up living in a real city. Alas, I can only hope that Illinois and Chicago won’t be too far behind all these people.

Also I’d like to know what’s up with California and New York? I mean really aren’t they supposed to be our beacons of liberalism? Why are they so behind the 8 ball, I mean MA, CT, IA and VT are already light years ahead of them. Shame on you California, you call yourself the bastion of liberals and yet you actually managed to pass Prop 8. And New York hasn’t even tried, that’s almost equally if not more upsetting. Ok I’ll stop giving those two a hard time now. It’s a tough battle anywhere, I do realize that. But it would be nice if two of the largest democratic states could jump on the bandwagon. It’s a good one to be on in my opinion.

Now, I’d be even happier if one of the southern states *cough*Texas*cough* would jump on the bandwagon because I think that would really be putting equality for all to the test. (Yes, I am still holding out for Texas to surprise us all and support gay marriage or at least do something similar to what Iowa has, I still have faith that my home state can be and is progressive). I have hope and faith that it will happen eventually all over the US. But I believe that will take some more time. And one of my friends actually found this cool little blog that maps out the time-line for knocking down bans on same sex marriages. Welcome to progress my friends.

In the immortal words of Catie Curtis:
Some day, I trust
Love will make an honest world for us

Sometimes You Just Have To Laugh

by rhealitycheck

Because otherwise you might want to cry. Especially with the way the economy is these days.

This morning I logged in to the New York Times website, which is a typical first glance before I start my work day routine for me. And I almost started laughing because I saw as one of the pictures in their “Picturing the Recession” segment was a photo of a store that I have passed by on my way to work quite often. In fact I found the sign in that photograph that says “RECESSION FLOWER PRICES $1.00/stem” so amusing that just a week ago I had taken a photo of it on my phone and sent it to a friend of mine because we were just talking about buying flowers for a birthday party. And what girl doesn’t love to get flowers? They’re just so beautiful. At any rate, I know many of the recession photos are quite sad but personally I like things like these because they make me chuckle.

Here’s the photo I sent my friend:

recession flowers
recession flowers