Learning To Run

August 8th, 2010 § 0

You know, running doesn’t seem like something that is initially incredibly complex but now that I’m training for a marathon I think there is a lot more to running than just putting one foot in front of the other. Such a huge part of training is a mental game, just being able to tell yourself that you can do it. First of all, I don’t consider myself a runner because I’m slow and I just don’t think of myself as a runner. I first started running any meaningful distance (read: more than a mile… ok actually it was like 3ish) in April when a coworker asked me to start running outside with her and to do a 5k. I have these trusty old running shoes that I have come to love a lot.

Since I started training for my marathon these shoes have served me really well but they’ve got a lot of miles on them now. And recently I’ve heard a lot of talk about these new shoes. Ones that are the closest thing to running barefoot. So I’ve decided to take the plunge and give them a try. I haven’t run in them yet, obviously since you can still see the tags.

As much as I deny being a runner and saying how much I dislike it, it’s seriously addictive. After I did my 5k I followed it with a 10k a few weeks later and then a half marathon about 3 weeks after the 10k. This was a pretty poorly planned set of races for someone who isn’t a runner. However, it did make me see that I really like running, it’s challenging in some great ways but it’s also difficult to run the much longer distances by yourself. I find running about 6 miles by myself is a great challenge and I like doing it alone. But the longer distances pretty much anything upwards of 10 miles is really really difficult for me to get through without help. So I am extraordinarily glad that I discovered Team in Training because not only do I have a great group of people that I run with, I am reminded that I’m not just running for my health or to challenge myself but also to help all those people who are battling cancer. I’m doing what I can to make a difference in the world. Perhaps it’s in a very small way but it is what I can do. It also reminds me to appreciate the journey I’m on. Life is one great journey and there is always something new around the corner and you never know what you find.

Is This Really Necessary?

July 26th, 2010 § 2

So I know my friend, D, just went through this recently where she went on the pill and was horrified by the resulting aftermath. I, too, decided that maybe I would give it a shot. My reasons are different from the majority of women on the pill. I typically don’t sleep with men so I’m not really concerned about getting pregnant. However my cramps can be a nightmare and I am an emotional disaster depending on the state of my hormones. Clearly, knowing that I’m an emotional disaster depending on the state of my hormones means I should try to fuck with them by using some synthetic ones. Clearly, I’m a genius.

Well anyway, the hype is that they help a lot. That said my first week with them was far from pleasant. It involved a lot of crying. Crying of the sobbing uncontrollably variety at work. And let me tell you it’s a little hard to explain why you’re sobbing uncontrollably when there’s really no reason other than my hormones are out of whack and that pen was the wrong color. Seriously, the blue was upsetting (or something equally trivial and stupid). That said things seem to have calmed down, I’m in the middle of week 3 and I’m still a little easier to tip over to the side of crying, which is super awkward cause I’m not really a crier, but it is getting a lot better.

Though I have to think, if this were something that effected men we wouldn’t be doing experiments on our own body right now. They’d have figured something better out instead of – well just wait it out and see what happens. I mean seriously, what kind of an answer is that. I am living in my own personal version of hell and you’re telling me that I just have to wait and see if I adjust. Do I get a refund on those 3 months of my life? Cause that would be stellar too. Anyway, at least I feel vindicated about some of the times when I do know that I’m just super on edge and it’s not *just* me. I suppose in a way that makes it worth it, though I’m not entirely sure just how.

My Life As Depicted By Someone Else

July 8th, 2010 § 0

So I don’t really read blogs. Yes, I realize that it is strange that I have a blog but I don’t really read them. Actually let me qualify that last statement, I read my friends’ blogs so I know what’s going on in their lives. That aside, I don’t blog that much and I really don’t read too many blogs. Every once in a while, I’ll find something funny and I’ll follow it for a short spurt but it rarely tends to last in the long-term (unless of course I know you in real life – apparently even though I am an IT person I’m not really an internet-y person).

Anyway, the point of this post is my friend (somewhat) recently sent me this link. On first glance, I thought to myself, “Oh she’s pretty funny and this could totally be my life. Haha.” And then June happened.

So I graduated from grad school in June and I thought to myself, “Ok, Rhea, maybe it is time to be a real adult and you know, clean and stuff.” So I balanced my checkbook, paid all my bills, cleaned the whole apartment, watered my bamboo (it’s a miracle that thing is still alive) and actually got groceries. It was amazing, it was like I was a real adult. And I thought to myself, surely I can keep this up now that I’m not in grad school. That was my first mistake. As depicted in said blog entry there was this little downward spiral from my first self congratulatory remark which lead to last weekend where I spent the whole weekend in bed and consumed ice cream and chocolate. Clearly I am totally an adult and capable of making good life decisions consistently. Sigh, it’s sad how well I relate to that post.

My Favourite Fast Meal

July 5th, 2010 § 0

Ok so I don’t cook a lot but when I do, I really do care that it has to be something good. And generally it can’t take too long or be too involved. Because let’s face it, I’m impatient and I always feel like I don’t have enough time to do anything overly involved. Not to say I can’t, but I generally choose not to. However, I believe I have perfected the 15min meal.

So today, I have the day off, it’s the day after Independence Day and I really really wanted chili cheese fries. However, I am also sick and have been feeling on/off like crap all weekend. So I opted for something slightly healthier that really only takes 15mins to cook. (Yes, I timed it, it’s 15mins on the dot.)

This really is my go-to when I want something fast and easy and tasty to make. It’s so ridiculously simple and half the time I have most of the ingredients in the house anyway. (At least, if I’ve gone grocery shopping in the recent past that is.) So here’s how you make it.

Orzo with Spinach, Pine Nuts, Tomatoes and Feta
Orzo
1 bag spinach
cherry/grape tomatoes (depends on your fancy)
crumbled feta
a handful of pine nuts
1.5tbsp olive oil (I like extra virgin)
Red chili pepper flakes
Crushed basil (or you can substitute all spice for this)

Boil the orzo until it is tender – or to the point where you would typically want to eat it.
In a large saucepan heat the oil until it is quite hot. Add in the red chili pepper flakes and crushed basil (or all spice). Add in the pine nuts. Brown the pine nuts and lower the heat. Add in the spinach. Cook until the spinach is completely wilted. Add the completely boiled orzo. Turn off the heat. Throw in the tomatoes and feta on top. Mix it together and ready to serve.

Broiled Lollipop Lambchops
2 lollipop lambchops
Worcestershire sauce
Garlic salt

Preheat oven to broil.
Cover the lamb chops in Worcestershire sauce and sprinkle garlic salt generously over both sides of the chops. Then place the chops on a broiling pan. Leave on one side for about 7-10mins. Then flip over to the other side for another 5-7mins depending on the size and how well you’d like them cooked through.


These were done for ~15mins, they’re about medium size to keep a great medium rare finish.

The Budget Wars

June 30th, 2010 § 0

Ok so, I don’t know about anyone else but I feel like I am continually struggling to be able to manage my own budget. Maybe it’s because I kindof suck at budgeting, by which I mean I can stick to a budget for maybe a month (if I’m lucky) and then it’s blown out of the water. However, I am unbelievably proud of myself because I thought I had really completely blown my budget this month and would have to reach back into my savings to dig myself out of this little hole I’d gotten myself into. See, recently, I’ve been giving a lot of money to charity and eating out quite a bit. The giving to charity bit, I’m actually pleased with myself about. The eating out and just spending money I shouldn’t, I’m a bit annoyed with my lack of discipline.

At any rate, I was just trying to balance my checkbook since I have been having the most miserable day at work ever. Yes, it is definitely one of those “terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days”. But then I was doing my budgeting because I figured if it was going to be a bad day, I might as well get all my bad news out of the way, right? Right. And then I looked and I saw that the only thing that’s even slightly off this month is that I had wanted to be able to put an extra $10 towards my student loans. But seriously, if I’m only off by $10 and that is part of the extra I typically put towards my loans (because I’m trying to aggressively pay off my loans so I send more than the monthly minimum). That’s really not so bad!! In fact, I’m ridiculously proud of myself. Granted, I would be more proud of myself if I could, you know, budget and consistently put money aside into savings. But hey, breaking even when I thought I had completely blown my budget ain’t bad. In fact, I’d say it’s a step in the right direction. (Now if only the rest of my life could fall in line with that).

A Little Too Much Sun?

June 28th, 2010 § 0

Ok so this will sound silly. At least, I get laughed at a lot by my white friends because of it. But I just recently discovered sunburns. It’s probably my least favourite discovery of *all* time. I mean let’s be honest, how many brown people do you know that burn? I don’t really know any. Well until now and that would be myself.

About 2 weeks ago I was lying out on the beach for a couple of hours when I got my first burn. It was just my nose and cheeks but it was definitely enough to be disconcerting for yours truly over here. Quite frankly, I wasn’t exactly sure what happened except my face was pink and it stung like mad. I mean what is that about? And then this weekend I was in a parade and my shoulders, oh my god, my shoulders. I had no idea that it was this bad. Or that this was even possible. I mean sure I’ve seen people get sunburns. And I had imagined that they don’t look like fun. But the intellectual understanding versus actually getting a burn is a far far far cry. Maybe I’m just a wimp but seriously. Sunburns, not cool. I clearly need to invest in sunblock. Well not only invest but actually remember to put it on. For now I’m off in search of some aloe. and maybe some ice.

The Never-Ending Struggle…

June 17th, 2010 § 3

with body-image. I’m pretty sure I’m not all that unique in this struggle actually. In fact, I’ve found that most of my female friends have many of the same issues I do. I mean we all complain about different things and have unrealistic expectations of what we should look like. And each of us carries this burden in different ways. The most fascinating part about it is also that most of us have a view of ourselves that are skewed in remarkable ways. For example one of my friends recently got married and apparently put on a few pounds after her wedding. Now she’s my old college roomie, I’ve known her for over 9 years now (wow we’re getting old) and the weight she’s gained is barely noticeable. Seriously, the only reason I noticed is because she said something and then specifically pointed out all her problem areas. I mean yes, we’re not 18 anymore. None of us look the same. That’s totally unrealistic to expect that we will ever look the way we did when we were in our teens again.

I was recently thinking about this because my mom came to visit. And as usual she had a comment about what I looked like. Now last year I went through some major ups and downs which caused me to lose a drastic amount of weight. This is me in January:

This is me on Memorial Day:

So perhaps I have gained a little weight. And yeah the two photos are two totally different contexts so they look drastically different. But the main idea is that in all honesty, I haven’t gained *that* much noticeable weight. Even without the added input from my mom, I have noticed a certain unhappiness in myself with my weight and the way I look. To counter this I’ve used a few methods from my best fried, Ev, where I was taking status photos every week (now every month) to see where my body is at and give myself a more realistic view of what I actually look like. The problem is that I know I don’t necessarily see the right me even in photos. A lot of it is dependent on my mental state and how I think I should look. It’s amazing how frequently it interferes with my own well being. I know that I may be a little extreme but I don’t think I’m the only woman that beats up on herself over a pound here and there. The thing is I used to do this when I was 107lbs. I was teeny tiny and I thought I was horrifyingly overweight. I think it’s something that you have to really take with a grain of salt and start to appreciate your body for what it is and not for the super stick thin images that we’re presented with in magazines and on TV. I have a friend who has started to do that and I’m not sure how she does it yet but boy do I hope to get there some day.

Is This Just A Bad Joke?

May 28th, 2010 § 6

Or have American politics really gotten this crazy? Most recently I discovered these amazingly terrifying commercials sponsored by Carly Fiorina for her campaign to be the Republican nominee for California’s senate seat. I was looking her up because I was listening to NPR on my way to work, as usual, but I heard this fabulous snippet from a Republican debate where Tom Campbell was the only Republican that thinks that people on the no-fly list should not be able to obtain arms. Ok, so I’m a bleeding-hearted liberal but I can’t possibly be the only one that agrees with him. I mean I’m from Texas, I get the desire to exercise your right to the Second Amendment. However, logically, I would think that if you are on the no-fly list, perhaps we shouldn’t allow you to buy any form of weapon. Just going on a limb here, if you’re dangerous enough to not let on an aircraft why would we let you buy a gun? Seriously, why? I have to say I completely agree with Campbell when he said, “I can’t believe what I am hearing. Wait until they’re off the no-fly list then exercise your second amendment rights.”


Though this gets better when you see Fiorina’s commercials, which I found thanks to this little gem of an NPR blogger. First we have the demon sheep and then the Boxer blimp. So I don’t agree with everything Ken Rudin (aka the Political Junkie) says but he’s witty and interesting and definitely puts an interesting perspective on things. And I can’t help but being right in step with him on his last few comments about the Boxer blimp:

Last month I suggested that “demon sheep” might be “the worst political ad ever.” Now I’m not sure. I can’t tell if this “hot air” ad is simply terrible … or so incredibly terrible that it’s brilliant.


I mean I don’t quite understand exactly what Fiorina is going for with these ads but if it’s to get attention well she certainly has mine. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing just yet but I’m listening… Albeit horrified but I guess the idea is that any attention is better than none?

So that was the first of my “am I just in a dream-like state questioning” until yesterday when I was reading Gail Collins, who I absolutely adore and happened to be the commencement speaker at Mount Holyoke (my alma mater) this year. Also can I mention how bitter I am that we got Nina Totenberg and 2010 got Gail Collins? Seriously, you would think Nina Totenberg would have been awesome however all she did was talk to us about getting married and making great wives. Totally what you want to hear graduating from a college that prides itself in alumni that want to change the world, not define themselves by their husbands. And let’s not forget the rather prevalent gay population that she completely ignored. Oy. Anyway, enough of that rant (which clearly should’ve left behind with everything else from 2005), where I was actually going is: Gail Collins is amazing and I just stumbled on this piece about how a millionaire is running for the Republican nomination for the Connecticut senate seat. It gets even better because not only is she a millionaire but Linda McMahon is the CEO of the WWE. Seriously, did American politics and Hollywood just collide into a spectacle of the ridiculous or is it just me?

Oh and no joke, google image search Linda McMahon, this is in the first 5 photos that show up. Seriously, this is a woman we want in the US Senate?

If Only I Could Move Like That…

May 11th, 2010 § 0

Actually in all honesty, I’m perfectly content to not be a ballerina and to simply admire the grace and beauty of those who can perform like that. A couple of weeks ago I went to see the Joffrey’s spring performance, Eclectica, and as always it was absolutely stunning. Though I have to say the older I get the more I accept that I just infinitely prefer classical ballet. I love the lines and the grace and beauty. My favourite out of the three pieces was “Reflections” which was choreographed by Gerald Arpino. The name of the choreographer struck me because I recall in the 2009 Spring Program there was also a piece by him that I also liked quite a lot called “Round of Angels”. I think he has an incredible knack for putting beautiful lines together.


Although last year’s favourite for me was definitely Valses Poeticos, choreographed by Helgi Tomasson. I can’t help but feeling like a child looking at the simple beauty of music and two people dancing so beautifully together. It’s novel for me every time.

Reclaiming Cynical Island

April 28th, 2010 § 0

So for the longest time I have been Dictator of Cynical Island. I gave up the title when I was happily (and even for quite a good bit of the time when I was unhappily) in love. However, if you know me well, you know that I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in love at my very core… probably more than I believe in anything else in this world.

Recently, I’ve become slightly obsessed with reading the Modern Love column in the New York Times. I think it’s some form of masochism because more than anything it makes me sad to read about so much of modern dating. I know I can’t possibly be the only person in her 20′s that is tired of the push and pull of modern dating and the various forms of commitment phobia that manifest themselves in our social interactions these days.

I have to say I’ve been lucky. I mean my ex and I are obviously not together. However, at least she had the decency to actually date me. In fact, all of my actual exes have been good like that. But I’ve found that it’s increasingly difficult to find anyone that actually wants to date anymore and I simply don’t understand this concept. Or even better ones who think that dating consists of “hanging out” but “not defining” the relationship. Personally I call that “fucking around”. But hey, what do I know? I mean I am “romantically challenged” after all. Perhaps I’m too demanding or it’s just intimidating to meet a girl who knows what she wants. But if I’m into you, don’t expect anything less than to be truly courted and I will not be ok with just “fucking around”. However, meeting someone that I’m actually into is excruciatingly difficult. So I’ll be honest, I don’t often meet anyone I’m interested in more than just sex with. And it’s not like I won’t tell you if I don’t want the same things as you do (as nicely as possible, I hate hurting people’s feelings but I hate leading them on more). And don’t try and convince me that it’s ok to just continually float from person to person “hooking up”. Been there, done that, have the postcard. It’s honestly, not that satisfying. Sure it does pass the time but if you’re looking for a real connection, hooking up is not the way to go. Perhaps taking a chance that love might exist and going on a real date is the way to go.

Maybe it’s just that the “hooking up” culture was in its nascent form when I hit high school and college so out of my friends group a significant number are either married or in a very stable couple or at the very least in some way want that someday. We believe in dating. We believe in love. And we believe in forever. Ok, maybe not *all* of my friends do but I’d say there’s a large majority of us that do.

Having said that, I’m still confused why so many young people are addicted to this culture of no-strings when that’s not what I think anyone is actually looking for. While I was reading Modern Love, I stumbled upon this series they did a while ago about how college students feel about love. There are two pieces that break my heart. One is written by a woman who is talking about how even though she tries to keep herself detached what she really wants is something more permanent. The other is written by a young man who talks about how insecurity keeps so many people from finding something more real but how in the back of your mind you still want that real connection.

So I think it’s about time I reclaim my dictatorship and as my friend B says, “all we need are a few good guinea pigs :) ”

scratch any cynic and you’ll find a disappointed idealist
[george.carlin]

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